The Accidental Girlfriend by Hart Emma

Author:Hart, Emma [Hart, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub, mobi
Publisher: Emma Hart
Published: 2019-06-24T16:00:00+00:00

***

Pru Jackson’s house was the weirdest place I’d ever stepped foot in. Nothing here matched, and the only theme was chaos. A large Persian rug was spread across the wooden floor in the living room. A dark, L-shaped leather sofa took up most of the room, and it was scattered with an array of brightly-colored throw cushions and an afghan that had seen better years, never mind better days.

The walls were a vibrant turquoise that crashed with the sunny yellow curtains at the windows, and on the wall above the marble fireplace was a stuffed fox’s head.

Yep.

Some people had deer horns.

She had a fox’s head.

I was beginning to understand the tequila and line-dancing. She was the kind of woman who’d run out of fucks to give by her fifth birthday and couldn’t care less what anyone thought about that.

There was a chance we could be friends.

I regularly found myself lacking in fucks.

Unless I stubbed my toe, then they all came pouring out.

“She’s very pretty.” Pru looked me up and down, her dark blue eyes peeking out from behind bright purple spectacles. “What’s she doing pretending to be your girlfriend? She’s too pretty to be your fake one, never mind your real one.”

Mason took a deep breath. “Ask your great-niece. She’s the one who put us both in this situation.”

Pru met my gaze. “You couldn’t tell him no?”

“He wore me down,” I said dryly. “I got the feeling he wasn’t going to let it drop.”

She nodded begrudgingly. “He does do that. A bit like a teenage boy playing with his tackle. Won’t give it up until the cannon shoots. I wish he’d be more like a virgin boy, to be honest. Give up the second the submarine docks in the harbor.”

It took everything I had not to laugh. That was the single strangest analogy I’d ever heard for having sex in my life, and my friends were total weirdos.

“We should get going,” Mason said, grabbing my shoulders and spinning me toward the front door. “That’s enough about me.”

“It’s never enough about you, boy. I’ve got a list of grievances, if you’d like to hear them.”

“Why don’t you keep them up your sleeve for now, Aunt Pru? You never know when you’ll need them.”

“Quite right, quite right. I’ve been saving them for my speech at your wedding, but I’m starting to think you’ll never get married. Mind you, staying single forever and faking your dates for the rest of your life is better than marrying that other hussy.”

Aha. So she didn’t like Claudia either. At least I was in good company.

“Mason, why do you have this godawful truck? You know my knees aren’t what they used to be.”

“Oh, give it up. We’ve all seen you line dancing, Aunt Pru. Get in the truck.”

She huffed but did as she was told, climbing into the backseat with only a little steadying help from Mason. She buckled herself in and leaned forward as he walked to the driver’s side. “It’s the line dancing,” she said conspiratorially.

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